Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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