if you like me you must not know who I am
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
