I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
whose parrot is this?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
