I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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