She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
