i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
