I have demons in me.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
