There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Come see our sink grown plant.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
