Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
