We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
