I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
either way he was missing a nipple.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
