He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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