Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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