after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
