I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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