You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
