I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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