Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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