i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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