ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
