wakey wakey hands off snakey
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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