Dual....:-)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
