I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
