and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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