Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
