my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
