and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
