So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
