Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
