New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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