Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
