Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
