Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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