i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize