She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
