I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
