What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
where are my eyebrows?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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