you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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