we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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