shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
