Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
