So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
