'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
