please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
