summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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