Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
