They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
