i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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