How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
