i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
