I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
