All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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